Finding Your Way
by Janigrl
Summary: In which Sollux has to learn how to live again and Karkat is there to help him through it./Post-sburb/sgrub, angst, smut


The game was finally over, but yet, it was not over. Its effects remained on everyone the game had touched; those who had perished in the game who weren't affected by the scratch still dead. They weren't coming back. Karkat felt a little responsible for this as he had been the leader. He had planned to give them all victory but in reality, he just let them die. He had learned to accept that, let it ride on his conscience. This wasn't about him, but his role in things wasn't over.

He could live with being the cause of this, he already despised himself enough for it, but in exchange he worked damage control of his injured surviving companions. Most of them could take care of themselves, their injuries temporary or non-existent. They had grasped that such ruthless killing and all this death was in their nature, the exception being Karkat who, while he wasn't sure why, felt something deep within him that told him that this was wrong. Call it mutation, call it kindness or write it off on a connection with his ancestor, the sufferer, but regardless of what it was, it had kept him from being one of the killers. He was one of the lucky ones.

The one he was concerned about was Sollux. Sure, without his lisp he hated himself a little bit less, but then there was the blindness. He had always predicted that he would go blind, and now that he was, his attitude seemed more relaxed, but he had probably received the worst fate of them all. It hadn't really registered at first, he had been pretty cool about everything, but after awhile it sunk in. His blindness wasn't going away.

He had been reluctant to learn how to "see" again from Terezi, given her methods and odd licking tendencies, but it seemed he didn't have much of a choice. She wasn't as good a teacher as the teacher she had utilized, but she was the best Sollux could get in the current situation. He refused to do any licking, but soon his other senses were heightened and he could get blurry images in his head of his surroundings.

It annoyed him that he had to halt his programming. It just wasn't the same without his sight. He hadn't been completely dependent on it, but there were some things that he just needed to see. Sollux was pretty adamant about not receiving anymore help then necessary from others; he didn't want to be read to or led around like an invalid. Even if it meant he couldn't read his disk labels or know which virus was which because of his newfound blurry "sight", he thought he could deal with that. He pride would make him deal with that.

Karkat wasn't aware at first of how Sollux was affected by the changes in his life. He hadn't visited his friend in quite awhile, and the last time they had talked he had seemed so calm and chilled out with his lisp gone. Karkat was certain that he was adapting fine when this all began, his concern didn't form until the day he decided to go and see Sollux for the first time since the incident.

It was a bit of a guilt trip going to see Sollux, as Karkat felt responsible for his injuries. He knew Eridan was technically to blame for the blindness, but Karkat was directly at fault for the yellow blood's loss of teeth. He knew that he wasn't blamed for it and Sollux even appreciated it to an extent, but Karkat couldn't let it go. He knocked on the door to his friend's hive and took a deep breath, preparing himself as he heard sounds of things falling as Sollux made his way to the door. He opened it with a crisp, "Yes?"

Karkat wasn't sure if Sollux knew it was him, but he could hear the change in demeanor in his voice. "Yeah... Sollux? It's me, Karkat...Can I come in?" He held back any remarks like calling Sollux a fuckass because he wasn't entirely sure how stable his friend was.

"Whatever," Sollux said as he moved away from the door. When Karkat stepped inside, the first thing he noticed was that it was even messier than normal. There were disc cases all over the floor, electronics littered the place as if thrown, and the entire room was just in general disarray.

"Woah...What the fuck happened here?" Karkat asked.

"Nothing, KK. Look, is there a reason you're here?"

Karkat was a little taken aback by that response. "Just wanted to see if you were still alive, haven't seen you on much lately," He said.

Sollux sighed impatiently. "As you can see, I'm still blind, but other than that I'm physically fine."

"Alright fuckass look, am I interrupting something? Because you're acting like you don't want me here."

That was when Sollux snapped. "I'm acting like I don't want you here? Well, huh, I wonder why that could be. How could it be that I don't just love when fuckers like you come over here and patronize me all the goddamn time? It's a real fucking head-scratcher. "

Karkat frowned. This was not right. Sollux had clearly changed. "Fine. I'll go. For now anyway," The shorter troll said, leaving the hive.

He didn't go back again for weeks. He figured that he would give Sollux some space, and maybe in time he would come out of his angry phase. One month passed before Karkat returned to Sollux's hive. This time however, he didn't knock. He took a chance assuming that the door would be unlocked and upon proving his theory, entered the hive. When he didn't see Sollux immediately, Karkat went upstairs to the other troll's room assuming that he'd be there.

What Karkat found was not at all what he had been expecting. Sollux was sprawled out on the floor, seemingly from a fall and growling to himself. He didn't appear to know that Karkat was there as he said, "Fuck. I can't..."

Karkat wasn't one for emotional moments as much as he loved romcoms, so he said nothing as he bent down and lifted Sollux back up to his feet. The yellow blooded troll was startled, but seemed to relax as he realized who it was that was holding him. "...Karkat?"

Instead of answering him, the shorter troll did something that neither of them was prepared for. He kissed Sollux, softly so that the other could pull away if he so desired. Sollux didn't have a response at first, but when he felt Karkat stop, he reached out and felt his way around the other's face until he brushed his fingers over Karkat's lips. He hadn't exactly considered his friend as a "flushed" suitor, but he found he didn't mind the kiss and he didn't actually hate Karkat, even as much as he professed to... He took a shaky breath and kissed Karkat back, testing the waters. He placed his other hand on Karkat's chest, needing to feel that Karkat was there.

As Karkat kissed back, Sollux felt a little more comfortable with the whole thing. But it was still spontaneous. Karkat was getting a little more confident about it after Sollux had actually responded instead of pushing away. It wasn't what he had come to the yellow blood's hive to do though; he had originally sought to talk to him, but the kiss seemed like the right thing to do, so he went for it.

Karkat put a hand on the back of Sollux's head as their kiss got a little more heated, the two of them seeming to move around the cluttered room until Karkat had Sollux against a wall. The two trolls both knew that the only reason Karkat appeared to be the dominant one at the moment was because Sollux was allowing him to be. Even without his sight, Sollux was still the taller and stronger troll. He had his psiionic powers as well, though he rarely used them. They weren't as strong as that of his ancestor, but they could be useful when he needed them to be. Gog knows he used his eye psiionics accidentally more times than he would have liked...damn mind honey. But the honey did help amplify the abilities for what it was worth.

Sollux snaked the hand that was previously on Karkat's chest under his shirt to tweak at his nipples. The other troll moaned lowly into the kiss, his stomach muscles tensing.. To even the stakes and give himself a better view, Karkat broke the kiss and lifted Sollux's shirt clean off, dropping it on the floor. "Sollux..." Karkat said in a husky voice. Sollux had always appreciated his friends growl-like tone, but this was just plain sexy. Since he had lost his sight, Sollux's other senses had been improved, and that included his hearing and sense of touch. "I don't know what this is, but...I'll make it good for you."

"Yeah? Well I'll just have to do you one better then won't I?" Sollux responded, ever the challenger. He stopped messing with Karkat's chest, much to the other's discontent though his pride stopped him from voicing it, and found the bottom of the shirt the smaller troll was wearing. He pulled it over his friend's head, tousling his hair in the process. In a rare display, Sollux employed the use of his psiionics to help him take control of the situation. Karkat could feel a force pushing him back away from Sollux, and then he watched as Sollux pushed him against the wall in his stead. Karkat didn't put up much resistance and was grateful for it as Sollux scoped out his neck and placed his mouth on it, sucking on the gray skin to leave a red mark.

Karkat tried to bite his tongue and muffle the moan that threatened to come bursting out of him, but he only half succeeded. He made a small noise when he felt Sollux's tongue on the underside of his jaw. He didn't have to look to know that Sollux was smirking, it was obvious. And it made Karkat's face burn with embarrassment, but he didn't blush. Blushing was not something trolls were known for, and even if his cheeks were dusted with a reddish hue, it wasn't as if Sollux would see it.

Sollux's hands clumsily found the zipper to Karkat's pants and undid it, letting the pants drop to the floor on their own. Karkat tried to do the same to Sollux, but the psiionics held him back as Sollux shook his head. Karkat was helpless as he watched Sollux's head come down his neck, planting soft kisses down his body until he found his nipples. He took one in his mouth and sucked, and the pleasure made Karkat arch his back. Little pants escaped his mouth as Sollux ravaged his chest on both sides, but Karkat knew what he was doing. He was trying to get Karkat to moan for him. Loudly. And knowing Sollux, he probably wouldn't stop until it happened repeatedly. But Karkat wasn't going down without a fight.

When Sollux finished his ministrations, he allowed Karkat to remove his pants. With one hand, Sollux found the top of the black haired troll's head and sort of petted him. With the other, he grabbed the bulge in Karkat's boxers and stroked it through the crude cloth, feeling it harden beneath his hand. Karkat still held his silence with the exception of irregular breathing, so Sollux took the boxers right off, leaving his friend bare. Karkat would have been more embarrassed, but it helped knowing that Sollux was blind and couldn't yet "see" as well as Terezi. Sollux lowered himself to his knees in front of Karkat, imagining the look of disbelief that was surely on his friend's face as he said, "Been wanting to try this."

The brunet troll took Karkat's cock in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it and licking along the slit. It was the most difficult challenge Sollux had presented yet, but Karkat bit his own hand to keep quiet, clamping down so hard he drew a little candy red blood. Sollux was slightly put out by the lack of moans, but he wasn't through yet. He stopped his blow job, earning a whimper, and used his psiionics to get some lube. He opened the bottle, but instead of coating his fingers with it, he let his psiionics to do honors. The tentacle like mental forces prodded around until they located Karkat's entrance. Sollux didn't ask if his friend was ready before he let his psiionics have at it and prepare him, after all, he did want a response. He got himself a grunt or two with that trick, and he could almost see Karkat screw up his face in pain.

A little sadistic, maybe, but it didn't bother Sollux too much. When the psiionics were finished preparing Karkat, Sollux put some lube on his cock. "Alright KK, face the a wall and bend over."

Karkat did as he was told, though he would have preferred a less derogatory position, and braced himself as Sollux lined himself up. Still looking for a response, Sollux pushed in without warning. Karkat bowed his head and put a hand up against the wall, but was able to get off with just a grunt. However, all bets were off once Sollux started moving. Each time he thrusted into Karkat, it got harder and harder to not make noise until Sollux brushed past a spot the made the black haired troll see stars and scream out a moan so loud, so lewd, and so hot sounding, that even Karkat wanted to question whether or not it came from him.

Satisfied with this show of enthusiasm but not completely satiated, Sollux continued to create friction against that spot and listened to the sweet sounds that were generated by Karkat. It was like playing a musical instrument. Sollux reached around in front of Karkat and stroked his cock in time with his thrusts. This passionate round of fucking went on until Sollux reached his edge. He hit climax and his psiionics found a bucket for them. The genetic set up of trolls made it so that as they came together, red and yellow semen combined to where a rush of orange liquid for days spewed from Karkat's cock and into the bucket. When they were finally done and the bucket was filled, Sollux pulled out of Karkat and stood there awkwardly as the other troll righted himself and took a good look at Sollux. He glanced around on the ground and located Sollux's boxers and handed them over as well as finding his own to don. There were no sappy exchanges of love professions, but Karkat did manage to say, "Well...know that I'll be here if you need me so...swallow your damn pride and ask for help sometimes fuckass. It's not a crime or anything..." Which, for Karkat, was pretty close.

"Thanks. For everything," Sollux said, and that was all on the subject. Karkat didn't leave, instead choosing to hang out with Sollux for the rest of the day. What their new relationship status was, neither of them really knew, but that was alright. Labels were unnecessary, at least now Sollux didn't feel so alone.


End file.
